Idiotic conundrum

LET go of irony
You are more worthy than that
Admit the truth
An idiotic conundrum
Has you fooled
You're not clever enough
To see past it
Condemned to repeat

Life is endless

     You've allowed one question, one single question, to blot out all of the others. And the question is unanswerable. It barely makes sense (although it seems to — to you).
     Why care?
     There are always alternatives — to philosophizing. You don't have to answer that question, or any question. Let it go.
     You can't, because you believe.
     It's a remarkable thing, discovering that you have 'beliefs'.
     Like the belief that every single moment has an absolute ineradicable reality, a reality that does not permit that moment to be removed from existence, not in a million or a billion years, even when it is forgotten and all traces of its happening destroyed.
     (Photography is one way to express the belief in the absolute reality of the moment. Only a metaphor, of course, because any analogue or digital photograph can be destroyed. What cannot be destroyed is the event of clicking the shutter, whether any image comes from it or not, whether anyone remembers it or not.)
     Like the belief that 'the answer is in me' regardless of the sheer improbablity of that being the case.
     The answer's in you. Fine. Find it. And if you can't find it, what point is there in continuing to insist that it's 'there' nonetheless?!
     What use is 'belief' anyway?
     — That moment when you were shamed. It may pass into distant memory, or with sufficient time be forgotten altogether. Yet now, at this very moment, you cannot deny that it happened. And it will be as real in a million or a billion years as it was when the event in question — that oh so shameful event — took place.

     The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
     Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
     Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
     Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it...

     The most significant event in one's life — or among the most significant events — can be a thought. Just a thought. Words in the brain. Just like any other event, the event of thinking that thought is absolutely real, regardless of whether, etc.
     So, a thought occurs. It doesn't matter where the thought came from or what prompted it. You had the thought, and now and forever more you are its prisoner.
     THIS is what philosophy should be about. Not pushing 'theories' or 'analyzing' this or that. Not criticizing, disagreeing, debating, defending, refuting.

     Je suis née ce matin
     Je m’appelle Mercy
     Au milieu de la mer
     Entre deux pays, Mercy...

     You listen to popular music on internet radio, guiltily. Music is only meant to 'a-muse', soothing ointment for the soul. Even when a song breaks your heart it's only entertainment after all. Music has no right to exist. There should only be silence. The silence of thought...
     WTF? — Yeah, right.
     Read Philosophizer. Then maybe you'll begin to understand what this is all about. I'm running out of words...